i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
