..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So squirting runs in the family.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
