its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
