found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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