You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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