when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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