I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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