Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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