your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
