Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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