Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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