no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
