In the future we'll all be gay
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
