I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize