My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
