My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
