I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The ass gains better be worth it
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