cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
