I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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