he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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