I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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