we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
