you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
