Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
