You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
