Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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