thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize