god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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