I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
