Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
