I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
