Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're like the curious george of whores
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie