I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.