I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join