Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny