At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?