Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
please come you make the beer taste better
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake