I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
