You were right. It hurts to walk today.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
