i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so much tequila, so little girl.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
