The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize