we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
