I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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