when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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