I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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