whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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