The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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