i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
