Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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