so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
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He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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