Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
