My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
