Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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