I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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