I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
