kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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