she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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