Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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