WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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