Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
