Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
